Young Chicks or: How I learned my lesson, from Applebees to Zeppelin
Half your age plus 7. That’s the unofficial cut-off for how young you can aim in the dating pool. I’m not sure who came up with the rule, but I‘ve known about it for a few years – which means, based on my often delayed absorption of such cultural norms, that it has probably existed for decades. I’d like to think this dating maxim was established by a meeting of the great thinkers of the day; a summit of philosophers, scientists, and ethicists who met to solve this age-old question: how low, age-wise, can you go? I’m thinking they probably met at Mount Olympus. They would have agonized for days over what should really be the line of decency – of social acceptability – when it comes to dating someone younger. These great thinkers would face the Herculean challenge of fusing the quantifiable with the utterly unquantifiable: Mathematics versus Romance. Finally, after days of impassioned arguments back and forth, they would emerge from the summit with a golden rule, to be passed onto lotharios the world over. Half your age + 7. And so it would be.
But more likely than that scenario is this one: a college senior, sitting alone in the corner booth at an Applebee‘s, sulking over a beer and a half-eaten plate of jalapeno poppers, is desperately smitten with a freshman who is 4 years younger and therefore, as said freshman is still not 18, jailbait and off limits. A half dozen beers later, however, the college senior has his “aha moment”: he devises the “half your age +7 “ justification. The senior knew being a math major would eventually pay off, but not so quickly.
But I’m speculating on how this golden rule came to be – what about its legitimacy in the real world, outside Applebees and Mount Olympus? Lucky for you, dear reader, in my quest for the truth, I undertook my own experiment this past summer to see if “half your age + 7” held any merit. The conclusion? Inconclusive. It could work, but it depends on the ages involved. If you’re 30 and she’s 22, for instance, that’s a pretty big valley. I like Daft Punk and Led Zeppelin – she enjoyed Tiesto – a newer watered down version of Daft Punk – and had only heard Stairway to Heaven out of the Zeppelin catalogue – kind of unacceptable, and very clear indicator my 22-year-old subject was in need of some life experience. Less crucial than the dearth of Led in her iTunes was she didn’t know much about current events; e.g. that Israel had some not-so-minor problems with it’s neighbors in the middle east, for instance. So I guess the key learning is that half your age + 7 can work, but in my case it would be nice if she watched the news or – failing that – could enjoy a good Jimmy Page riff.
